WEEK 1 NFL FIX

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Welcome back friends.  If you’re reading this, then you’re probably like me and have been wishing for the NFL season to come back ever since the Jays got off to a 2-11 start. It’s ok, it was a good two year run Jays fans and hopefully it doesn’t take another 20 plus years to get back to the post season.  But saying goodbye to the Jays means hello NFL season and boy did things start off with a BANG.  The Patriots who were 8 point favourites and yes I did take the PATRIOTS -8 over Chiefs (Reminder: You can see my Thursday night picks each week on my Instagram page @sheldonalexander https://www.instagram.com/sheldonalexander/)

But yes I took the Patriots despite thinking it was way too many points.  The Chiefs always play the Pats tough.  They rarely turn the ball over, their defence is solid and I overall think the Chiefs are actually a pretty good team.  We forget, but they finished last season 12-4, they’re legit.  BUT…..out of respect to Brady Da GAWD coming back from a 28-3 Super Bowl deficit (and winning me a lot of money in the process) I had to ride with Brady and Belihick…especially when they’re up against Alex Smith and Andy Reid.   What I wasn’t ready for was the absolute takeover by Tyreek Hill (133 rec yds & TD) and rookie Kareem Hunt (98 rec yds, 148 rush yds and 3 TDs).   Hunt’s debut was so amazing that he should land a role on the next season of Power to help out Ghost’s son Tariq….cause that’s the Tariq/Tyreek that really REALLY needs the help right now.

But back to the game and first things first…NEVER OVERREACT TO WEEK ONE OF AN NFL SEASON.  Today will be filled with the hottest of takes on Tom Brady being old, Alex Smith actually being good?  Has Belichick lost his touch etc.  But don’t fall for it.  After a summer filled with “going undefeated” talk and a massive celebration and MASSIVE trolling going on ahead of last nights game…

Maybe just maybe losing the opener isn’t necessarily such a bad thing.  Plus again, the Chiefs might be really good (as long as Alex Smith doesn’t kill them).  But sticking with the Pats, they got banged up last night with injuries, but I’m sure they’ll be fine in the good ole AFC East.  But maybe they should chill on the trolling….I mean.. .did you know about this, according to SI.com:

“In advance of the NFL season opener, Barstool Sports spent $140,000 for 70,000 rally towels, printed with an image of Goodell’s face with a clown nose, originally a t-shirt design popularized by Barstool during the height of the Deflategate controversy…On Wednesday Barstool gave out 60,000 of the towels to volunteers to distribute to other fans. The remaining 10,000 will be handed out from Barstool’s RV at a car dealership near the stadium but off of Patriots property. Barstool is calling the stunt #OperationClownFace.”

Well that was pregame…and this was the head of Barstool Sports postgame.  My dude was crying….like actual tears.

On to the rest of the games….well sort of….

Bucs @ DOLPHINS – POSTPONED

Due to Hurricane Irma, this game has been moved to week 11 which happens to be a bye week for both teams.  This means both the Bucs and Dolphins will have the utterly ridiculous task of playing NFL games for 16 straight weeks, something that didn’t sit well with defensive tackle Chris Baker

Speaking of Miami, did you know Derek Jeter is now a part owner of the Miami Marlins? He put in $25 million (reportedly not all of this was his own money) of the total $1.2 billion deal.  But as a part of the deal he’s gonna pay himself $5 million a year and gets a company credit card.  Now that my friends… IS GANGSTER.  And oh yeah, Mrs Jeter isn’t doing to bad either.

To quote my boy Glenny J, Derek Jeter is #WinningAtLife

Cardinals -2 over LIONS

Matthew Stafford is now the highest paid player in the NFL.  Let that one sink in.  How many QB’s in the NFL would you rather have right now than Matthew Stafford?  I’ll wait…..

Ok for me, in no particular order 1) Brady 2) Rodgers 3) Brees 4) Big Ben 5) Luck 6) Cam 7) Carr 8) Eli 9) Matt Ryan 10) Russ 11) Rivers and that’s before taking a flyer on young bucks like Mariota or Famous Jaimeis.  Again, that’s not in order but the point remains, HOW CAN YOU JUSTIFY PAYING HIM MORE MONEY THAN ANYONE ELSE IN THE ENTIRE NFL WHEN HE’S NOT EVEN TOP TEN AT HIS OWN POSITION?!?!?!

That’s just bad juju.  Plus they were so lucky last year to win 8 games when trailing in the fourth quarter.  I just don’t see how it’s possible for them to pull that off again.  Meanwhile, the Cards run the ball and play D.  As long as Carson Palmer doesn’t mess things up, they should be all good.

Falcons -7 over BEARS

Can Matt Ryan live up to his numbers from last year, especially while swapping Kyle Shanahan for Steve Sarkisian?  Not sure they’ll have to worry too much about week one, as the Bears will be starting Mike Glennon….for now….cause we all know Mitch Trubisky is waiting in the wings like Marlo Stanfield was waiting for Avon and Stringer to mess up.  If you don’t get that reference, then we can’t be friends.  Times must be tough though in Chicago, because Cubs Catcher Willson Contreras is out here trying to holler at former porn star Mia Khalifa and proving this age old theory “When men are thirsty, they drink dirty water”

#TheThirstIsTooReal but this is something we should note from Deadspin:

“A spokesperson for Octagon Baseball, the agency that represents Contreras, claims that his “twitter account was hacked.” They are working to resolve the matter.”

BENGALS -3 over Ravens

So these teams will open and close the season against each other.  But is it just me or does every game between the Bengals, Ravens and Steelers include a 3 point spread?  Normally I’d take the points….but the Ravens are starting Joe Flacco who missed the entire preseason with a back injury and might be one hit away from Ray Lewis once again having to get in front of a camera to explain why Baltimore signed another QB not named Colin Kaepernick.  This whole saga is so ridiculous. The concept of the Ravens Owner wanting to hear from Kaepernick himself that he wanted to play football is beyond stupid, no?  As I said earlier this week on twitter…

TEXANS -5.5 over Jags

Tom Savage vs Blake Bortles.  I’m really not going to spend too much time on this match up.  But I will say shout out to JJ Watt for everything he’s done to raise money for those affected by Hurricane Harvey.  Now, I’m not the first or the last one to say this.  But just remember this situation the next time you tell an athlete to “Stick to Sports”.

Jets +8 over BILLS

I will not spend a second watching this game.  The Bills suck, but so do the Jets.  So I’ll always take the points especially when it’s more than a TD.  Tyrod Taylor being in the line up doesn’t make much of a difference to me and shouldn’t to anyone else other than Bills fans.   But just a reminder….these are Bills fans.

#BillsMafia

Raiders +2 over TITANS  

Watch out for the Titans this season. They were super sneaky last year.  Plus another year of development from Marcus Mariota had me thinking about taking the Titans over a Raiders team that might still be living off of last season’s hype.  Then I saw this video and thought, how am I gonna go against Beast Mode in week one? #ILikeChicken

WASHINGTON +1 over Eagles

A lot of turnover in Philly and they ended last season on a slide.  For Washington, its another year with Mr. Franchise Tag himself Kirk Cousins…and while I still don’t like that…if Cousins needed any more motivation this year, he should look at Matthew Stafford and his brand spanking new $135 million contract.  That would put Cousins in the elite company of other Chocolate City stars like Bryce Harper who got a new hairdo this week.

Bryce Harper rocking cornrows… OK #JayZVoice What do you think? (📷bharper3407 | Instagram Story)

A post shared by Sheldon Alexander (@sheldonalexander) on

And another one…. #BryceHaperHasCornrows (📷bharper3407 | Instagram Story)

A post shared by Sheldon Alexander (@sheldonalexander) on

And John Wall, who had a little too much fun at the expense of comedian Lil Duval at a charity basketball game.

Steelers -9 over BROWNS

Gotta fade the Browns anytime they’re getting less than 10 points. And it’s not because this incarnation of the Cleveland Browns are 1-17 in week one games.  It’s not because the Browns have started at least 3 different QB’s in each of the last four seasons.  I’m actually very confident in taking the Steelers to win by 9 because Le’Veon Bell is back and I’m pretty sure it’s because he showed off his ability to spit the hottest of fire

RAMS -3.5 over Colts

Scott Tolzien vs Jarred Goff, aren’t you glad the NFL is back?  I think the Colts are hot lava trash even with Andrew Luck….so good luck with Mr. Tolzien.  Side note, are we sure both of these “starting” QB’s are actually better than Colin Kaepernick?  Asking for a friend.  This game will suck, but LA fans fear not…there’s a new star in town that will no doubt entertain #BallInTheFamily

NINERS +5.5 over Panthers

I can see Killa Cam and the Panthers having a bounce back year.  Are they as good as their 15-1 NFC Championship season 2 years ago? No.  Are they as bad as their 6-10 season last year? No.  They’re probably somewhere in the middle and desperately need Luke Kuechly to stay healthy, as well as Christian McCaffrey to be as good as advertised.  Panthers win, Niners cover because they won’t be nearly as bad as we think.  Also shout out to Cam Newton’s brother Caylin, who is a freshman quarterback at Howard University.  In his first game, Caylin led his team to the largest upset in college football history, beating UNLV 43-40 as a 45-point underdog.  Read that again….A 45-POINT UNDERDOG WON A GAME.  Haters will say Vegas did something shady because UNLV is involved….but say let Howard live.

Seahawks +3 over PACKERS

This is the best game of week one.  I wouldn’t be surprised if these two teams met up in the NFC Championship game.  So that means this game could go a long way in having home field advantage with a trip to the Super Bowl on the line.  I’m taking the Seahawks because of their D and because Russell Wilson should finally be healthy after battling through injuries all last season.  And I’m going to pretend as if I’ve never seen this photo before…. C’Mon Russ…LOL

To more serious matters.  And it should go without saying, but I’m squarely on team Michael Bennett the same way I was on team Kaep last year.  I’m not going to get into all of the details, but if you watch this clip and still don’t feel for this guy…then I don’t know what to tell you.

COWBOYS – 4 over Giants

I think Odell is going to play, I just can’t see him missing the stage of Sunday night football, week one, against the Cowboys.  No, he shouldn’t be the highest paid player in the league, but he is an absolute BEAST.  Dallas on the other hand, needs to get their fill of Zeke now, because who knows what’s going to happen with his suspension.   So he needs to COOK while he can.  With that said, I would love to know how other NFL players feel about their union defending Zeke in a domestic violence case.  I’d bet more than few have to feel at least a little bit slimy about it no?  I know I would.

Saints +3.5 over VIKINGS

Shout out to Adrian Peterson, but I’m not taking the points because of him.  I’m taking points because it’s Drew Brees versus Sam Bradford….plain and simple.

Chargers +3.5 over BRONCOS  

How much does Phil Rivers have left in the tank?  Hopefully enough to once again give us our weekly tradition of the Chargers being on a last second drive to cover the spread…

Man I’ve missed you NFL…. #HappyShmoneyDancing

@ShelAlexander

#OnBlast

This Year: 0-1

Last Reg. Season: 120-110-10

Playoffs: 5-6

 

 

 

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