What a time to be alive. Trump’s America is off to a great start, Beyonce’s pregnant with twins…
And the NHL is making February “Hockey Is For Everyone Month” as if “Black History Month” isn’t already a thing. That would be like the NBA calling their schedule on December 25th “Basketball For Everyone Day”. Again, slow clap for the NHL ladies and gents.
But all that aside, you know why we’re here….SUPER BOWL WEEK!!! Although, I must admit I’m not as excited as I normally am for the Super Bowl. Maybe because the football season was terrible. The playoffs were even worse (minus the Cowboys/Packers game) and surprise, surprise the Patriots are in the big game yet again. Think about it, this season was so wack, Tom Brady was suspended for 4 games….yet the Pats didn’t miss a beat and went 3-1. They even won a game with their 3rd string QB, a brother named Jacoby Brissett. You can’t tell me that dude doesn’t sound like a character from a new One Tree Hill reboot. Anyways, Brady came back, Gronk got hurt and NONE OF THAT MATTERED because ya BOY Chris Hogan just went for 180 yards and 2 touchdowns in the AFC championship game. These Pats playoff runs are becoming as predictable as the black girl getting voted off early on every single season of The Bachelor….wait…what?!?! You mean to tell me there’s multiple black girls on this season and 3 of them are still making a run 5 weeks into the show?!?! Shit, between that and homegirl Corinne, maybe I should be watching this season? Add that to Jennifer Aniston doing her best Mel Kiper Jr impression, as she had Corinne on her radar before an episode even hit the airwaves.
Is it too late for me to jump into this season by the way? I mean, I can’t lie my internet deep dive involved scrolling through homegirl’s timeline and I’m kind of upset that no one forced me to watch this show. I thought we were all friends here….
In case you’re not familiar with Corinne and want to do more than just creep on her instagram page, I’ll let “The Real Jimmy” of late night explain.
Who knew, but apparently Corinne could also be involved in one of the biggest stories in the NBA this season as well….
Back to the Soup or Bowl (bad reference, I know). If this NFL season has been such a disappointment then why are we even here? Well, that’s easy…gambling of course. But before we get to my official game pick, lets take a look at some of the funny prop bets
“Houston we have a problem” said on TV +400
“Houston we have a problem” not said -600
Note: Who the heck really knows, but tell me this wouldn’t be super dope to root for during the game. And obviously with the game taking place in Houston, this falls under the category of a “So you’re telling me there’s a chance” bet. #GoodValue
Any player kneels during National Anthem +700
No player kneels during National Anthem -1500
Note: We all know, no one on the Patriots will kneel. Not only because of their ties to Trump. But also, kneeling during the anthem rightly or wrongly has been labelled as a “me, me, me” move or a distraction, both of which are not a part of that Belichick life. Also in case you were wondering, no Falcons player has knelt during the anthem so far this season.
“Michael Vick” said during broadcast +250
Not said during game play broadcast -350
“Aaron Hernandez” said during broadcast +500
Not said during game play broadcast -900
“Matty Ice” said during broadcast -300
Not said during game play broadcast +220
Note: Ya Boy, Joe Buck was on Howard Stern and when told of these lines he said he had no plans to mention any of these names and even said “Matty Ice” sounds cheesy. But honestly, if I’m Buck…I’d be throwing out smoke screens, while telling my boys to make the bet.
Lots of goodies on Lady Gaga’s halftime performance here.
Lady Gaga’s first song “The Edge of Glory” +150
Any other song first -190
Lady Gaga’s halftime show hair color blonde -380
Lady Gaga’s halftime hair color not blonde +260
Lady Gaga’s halftime show lipstick color red -260
Lady Gaga’s halftime lipstick color not red +180
Lady Gaga has a wardrobe malfunction (must expose intimate body part) +1300
Lady Gaga no wardrobe malfunction -3000
Lady Gaga shown on NRG Stadium roof +190
Lady Gaga not shown on NRG Stadium roof -270
Lady Gaga says “Trump” during halftime show +300
Doesn’t say “Trump” during halftime show -420
Of note, great value on Gaga being shown on the roof. A lot of talk behind the scenes of that being something she wants to do to make a splash.
But speaking of making a splash during the halftime show. This video has been floating around the inter-webs lately. It’s a behind the scenes look at Michael Jackson’s legendary Super Bowl performance back in 1993
No shade to Gaga, but I still think this would be a way better halftime show
Well these dudes and Migos of course….
Goodell seen shaking hands with Big 3 (Brady, Belichick, Kraft) +157
No handshake with any/NE does not win -200
Note: Obviously if you like the Patriots to win the game +157 is GREAT VALUE
“Gronk” said over 3 times +100
“Gronk” said under 3 times -140
Note: This bet includes the words “Gronk” or “Gronkowski”, which brings me to the recent findings from Gronk’s teenage years.
and then there’s this story that seems like a subplot from the movie American Pie 8…but no, its just “Gronk Life”
Chuck Swierski, Gronkowski’s high school coach at Buffalo’s Williamsville North High School, shared the anecdote, via Mark Dondero of WPRI.
… Swierski [said], “So we’re playing a home game and we have 68 points – now it’s not a blowout, but it’s not a particularly close game either. So he [Gronkowski] gets fouled and goes to the free throw line. He hits the first one to get us to 69 and the place goes nuts because he’s playing into it. On his next free throw, he purposely chucks the ball off the backboard and misses so the score would stay at 69 and then runs back on defense pointing at the scoreboard.”
What a tool. Wait a sec, SOME ONE NEEDS TO INTRODUCE GRONK TO CORINNE!!!! Tell me that’s not a match made in reality tv heaven.
And now to my favourite prop of all:
Gisele Bundchen shown on TV over 1½ times +275
Gisele Bundchen shown on TV under 1½ times -395
Great value here with the over. If they win, that’s at least one time right? If its a close game down the stretch…ANYTHING IS POSSIBLE!!!! Plus, Gisele is a rider Of note: I mean “Rider” like The Lox song Ride or Die Chick, so get your minds out of the gutter. But anyways, I’m always for more Gisele
And now the moment you’ve all been waiting for…or just scrolled all the way down to the bottom of this post for.
PATRIOTS -3 over FALCONS
I never wanna be in a position in which I bet against Bill Belichick. Honestly, its just that simple. I can’t bet against Brady and Belichick. Not even Trump could turn me against them (although, he tried his best). With two weeks to prepare, the Pats will have a game plan that will likely involve pounding the running game to limit the time of possession for the Falcons high powered offence. Plus, after watching what Brady did versus Seattle’s LOADED D in his last Super Bowl, to me…the man is hater proof (much like LeBron, but that’s a story for another day). He’s a G, so we know he’ll be ready. But we don’t know how Matt Ryan or Julio Jones’ toes are going to react to all of this Super Bowl hoopla. Plus if you haven’t seen the NFL films doc on the 2014 championship Pats, you need to do so. Its a great look at the inner workings of the Patriots coaching staff. And this segment on the Malcom Butler play is the reason why I will always ride with Belichick and company.
Their resume is proven. Enjoy the game and if I didn’t get you excited enough for the big game…then I’ll again throw back to the better Jimmy.
Who says Media Day isn’t fun anymore!!!!
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CHAMPIONSHIP WEEKEND: 1-1
REGULAR SEASON: 120-110-10