WEEK 5 NFL FIX

kaepernick-colin-49ers-black-tunnel

HOME TEAMS IN CAPS 

NINERS +3.5 over Cards

The Niners suck plain and simple.  But if you’ve been with me since the start of this season, then you know I’ve been picking the Niners each week in support of Colin Kaepernick’s protests of social injustice in the United States (again, I so wish that I could write about this in depth, but I really like my day job).

Anyways….to be honest, I would have taken the Niners as home dogs in this game regardless of #TeamKaep (now 1-4 against the spread BTW), but boy was I wrong.  The Niners made all the crappy mental mistakes you would expect from a team headed towards to the top of next year’s draft.  I expected them to at least put up a fight.  Instead, we got Blaine Gabbert and your boy Phil Simms making up excuses as to why Chip (your other boy) should stick with Gabbert instead of turning to Kaep.  Now, I’m not saying Colin Kaepernick is the same QB he was a few years ago.  Nor am I saying that he’s any good now.  But at least at some point in his life he was a good NFL QB, which is something NO ONE HAS EVER SAID ABOUT BLAINE GABBERT.  Also, the majority of the Niners offence involves the option…and Kaep is still backing up Blaine Gabbert?  Maybe there’s another storyline here I’m missing as to why there’s a hesitation to make Kaep the starter….hold on, I’ll give you a second to think….that’s right, his contract.  Oh you thought I was going somewhere else with that didn’t you?  Side note, those Niners #AllBlackEverything jerseys are the truth.   Also, just give Kaep his starting job back.

COLTS -4.5 over Bears

Despite the fact I picked the Colts and then watched them crap their tea and crumpets in London against the Jags, I must say I enjoyed having an NFL game at 9am on a Sunday.  Mind you, I’ve aged about 10 years over the past 1 year which is why I was up that early on a Sunday.  But still, a full day on my couch watching football is definitely something I could get behind.   VEGAS ZONE!!!! I have no idea what’s gonna happen, so I’m taking the Colts at home looking for a blowout.

VIKINGS -6.5 over Texans

The Vikings continue to prove they’re legit.  In the past 3 weeks they’ve given up an average of 11.3 ppg to the Packers, Panthers and Giants.  Good luck with that Brock Osweiler

Washington +3.5 over RAVENS

I’m going to continue to fade the Ravens until their lines reflect how below average their team really is.

Titans +3.5 over DOLPHINS

The Titans are frisky.  They seem to hang around in every game.  Also the last time we saw Ryan Tannehill, he looked like Ryan Tannehill getting smashed by the Bengals.  Even with the rest I can’t take the Fish.  As per usual, with two “bad” teams I will take the points.

BROWNS +10.5 over Patriots

I would love to pick Tom Brady to lay the smack down on the Browns, but I’ve vowed to take the points this year each and every time there’s a double digit spread (2-1 so far this season)  Also this is the second time in 2 weeks the Browns have been double digit dogs.  But things aren’t all bad in Cleveland.

I thought LeBron was a Yankee fan?  Anyways, the Cavs have the entire city of Cleveland on a WAVE right now and need to bring back JR.  Just look at how much fun they’re having?

STEELERS -6.5 over Jets

Everyone on board the Steelers offensive bandwagon!!!  Also can Ryan Fitzpatrick keep his run going?  The man has 9 INT’s in the last 2 weeks.  That’s the stuff dreams are made of.

Eagles -3 over LIONS

This should be the game where Carson Wentz reminds us all that he’s a rookie.  The Lions are home dogs, well rested with time to prepare for the rook.  But they’re the Lions and I’m riding with Wentz until proven wrong.

BRONCOS -3.5 over Falcons

Paxton Lynch now in at QB for the Broncos, but really this is a “show me” game for the Falcons.  If their offence can go on the road IN DENVER and ball out, then they’re for real. I’m not saying Julio has to go for 3 hundo again…but he might need at least half of that for the Falcons to win.

Bills -1.5 over RAMS

Rex and company are really feeling themselves after getting back to .500.  But correct me if I’m wrong, isn’t #BillsMafia pounding their chests and bragging after beating the Patriots WITHOUT TOM BRADY the most #BillsMafia thing ever?  Well other than power bombing each other onto tables.

OAKLAND -3.5 over Chargers

I’m all over the Raiders offence.  The new and improved Michael Crabtree has been an amazing thing to watch.  Even as a bitter Niners fan, I enjoy watching Oakland put points on the board….yes even if in the back of my mind Crabtree is still a “sorry ass receiver”

COWBOYS +2 over Bengals

This is the first real test of the season for the Zeke and the Cowboys running game.  The Bengals D is good, but I like the Cowboys as home dogs.

Giants +7 over PACKERS

Too many points for the Packers.  I don’t like Green Bay’s defence and you know the Eli/ODB breakout game is coming

Bucs +5.5 over PANTHERS

No Cam Newton, so are you really going to throw money on Derek Anderson?  I’m not ‘Bout dat life.

Survivor Picks:

Week 1: Seahawks, Chiefs

Week 2: Panthers, Broncos

Week 3: Cowboys, Bucs 

Week 4: Bengals

Week 5: Patriots

THIS WEEK: 0-1

LAST WEEK: 7-8

SEASON: 31-30-3

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