HOME TEAMS IN CAPS
BENGALS -7.5 over Dolphins
Remember, my Thursday night picks are made on my Instagram page (@sheldonalexander). It was a lot of points and I didn’t really trust Andy Dalton in prime time. But the Dolphins are bad, really, REALLY BAD. They needed overtime to beat a Browns team that had Terrelle Pryor play WR, QB and DB all in the same game. Plus your boy Vontaze Burfict was back from his suspension…good luck with Mr. Tannehill Dolphins fans. And oh yeah, AJ Green is pretty good.
Colts -2.5 over JAGS (In London)
I’m looking forward to a 9am football game and not getting off my couch for at least 12 straight hours….WITH NO SHAME. Anyways, last week Andrew Luck beat the Chargers despite the rest of his team dragging him down yet again. I just don’t understand how the Colts are this bad besides Luck and TY, but I’ll take Indy in a neutral site game against the Jags who for a second straight year have disappointed the masses as the preseason “sleeper team”
PATS -6 over Bills
Rex wins one game and all of a sudden he’s feelin himself a little too much. He’s doing Belichick impressions:
He’s pretending to be a member of the media and asking Julian Edelman questions:
I didn’t forget that he was on the hot seat about a week ago (WEEK AGO…is Bobby Shmurda still a thing?). Meanwhile, the Pats have proven it doesn’t matter who starts at QB, they just keep on ROLLIN. By the way, lets update you on week 3 of Tom Brady’s suspension…
Yup, still winning at life.
Panthers -3.5 over FALCONS
This game feels as if the Falcons are trying to sucker people into thinking they’re good. Meanwhile they’ve beaten the Raiders and Saints. In the end, I just can’t see the Panthers falling to 1-3 and doing so losing within the division.
Browns +7.5 over WASHINGTON
As mentioned earlier, Terrelle Pryor went all BEASTMODE last week and they still lost. But even if he is playing QB this week, under no circumstances am I taking Kirk Cousins to beat anyone by 7.5 points.
Lions -3 over BEARS
I was in PEI last week for a wedding and was out all Sunday. Got back just in time for the start of the Cowboys game. Saw the line was Cowboys -5.5 before kickoff and didn’t even blink before throwing down on Dallas. Dak and company scored before I realized that Brian Hoyer was starting for the Bears. Which is probably a good thing, because I might have tried to bet my entire account on “Dem Cowboys”. But its ok Chicago fans, you just paid DWade $25M a year and the Cubs are favourites (BY A LOT) to win the World Series…I mean what else could go wrong right?
Raiders +3.5 over RAVENS
I’m not buying the 3-0 Ravens. They’ve beaten the Bills, Browns and Jags, that’s like a murderer’s row of teams people fade in survivor pools. Too many points, so I’m riding with the Raiders.
Seahawks -2.5 over JETS
Ryan Fitzpatrick threw 6 INT’s against the Chiefs….SIX…IN ONE GAME…WHO DOES THAT?!?! Now he’s going up against the Legion of Boom. Good luck with that.
Titans +5 over TEXANS
JJ Watt is most likely out for the year. With Watt, the line was Houston -6.5 and I was taking the points. So now without Watt…I’ll gladly take the 5 points.
Broncos -3 over BUCS
I’m taking the Broncos until Trevor Siemian proves to me that he’s capable of actually looking like a rookie QB that can lose games for his team. Until then, I’m dancing like Von Miller in that Madden commercial.
NINERS +3 over Cowboys
Again a reminder, I’m taking the Niners against the spread for the entire season (1-2 so far #TeamKaep). As a Niners fan, I’m not sure how much longer I can watch Blaine Gabbert be Blaine Gabbert. Bring on Kaep, the 24 hour news cycle would go crazy.
Rams +8 over CARDS
The Rams are in first place in the NFC West. They screwed everyone last week and scored 37 points after netting 9 total points over the first two weeks of the season. Read that one over again..I’ll wait… The Cards will win, but again…too many points.
CHARGERS -4 over Saints
The Sean Payton/Drew Brees era might be over in New Orleans and good ole Phil tha Thrill Rivers might just be the guy to add another blow.
STEELERS -6 over Chiefs
Bounce back game for Big Ben and the Steelers. The Chiefs are good, but do they have an answer for Antonio Brown? Does anyone? He’s like the NFL’s version of Usain Bolt. Speaking of, have you seen Mr. Bolt on James Corden? If not, you should…I mean, I laughed.
VIKINGS -4.5 over Giants
Are the Vikings without AP, but with Sam Bradford actually legit? This could be the case and it’s all because of their D. But this Vegas zone line scares me. Eli looked terrible the past few weeks, but this is typically the kind of game where he looks like “Good Eli”…when no one expects it.