IT’S BAAAACK! …whether you like it or not

F1_Race_D4_CH003
Happy Friday my #ONBLAST peoples! As you must already know, I’m a junkie for anything with wheels and a speedo – and this weekend marks the opening round of the Formula 1 season in glorious Melbourne, Australia.

This is by no means a ploy to convert you into fans – but I just wanted to share a couple things that may change your position on the sport, and who knows – you may even PVR the race and have it on in the background on Sunday afternoon while you piece your life back together between the cocktail glasses stuck to the table, the half spilled ashtray, and the collection of odours that you’re sure you didn’t put in the atmosphere. (yea bro – what is that smell?)

Here’s a couple reasons why you may want to take a look at this Sunday’s (Saturday late night actually) race:
1) Marcus Stroman is out for the season.
2) There’s no NFL
3) The Leafs are a total joke (cue Ryan Dalziel rant)
4) If the folks from Cupertino held a keynote launching a device with only half of the technology thats featured in modern F1 cars, your boner would kill you. (if you have an iPhone 6, admit that you’re a nerd, and probably should pay more attention to shit like F1, and space travel – shout out to the Rosetta mission)

MODERN F1:
I’m gonna keep it real simple here as I feel that people over complicate explaining the true magic of these whips…
The Engine: 1.6 litre, V6 turbo hybrid with electric motor. In English, that’s like taking a motor smaller than the one on a standard Honda Goldwing (thats a motorcycle btw), fitting a large turbo to the exhaust to re-use wasted energy, plus an electric motor that gets its energy from heat generated from the brakes. Add it all up, you get about 750-800 horsepower. Why do you care? Well – Ferrari, Porsche, and McLaren have introduced this type of technology in their top-of-the-line road cars already, and within 5-10 years you’ll be driving something with the same configuration too. So yeah, you heard it here first. #ONBLAST TECHNOLOGIEZ!
If you really want to nerd out, check this video.

The Design: This is a part that the teams try to keep secret, as their methods borderline with witchcraft. These cars can drive upside down if there was an inverted track at about 150 MPH because of all the downforce they create with their wings and ‘tings.
If you care to – here’s a slightly outdated (5 years old) overview on the basics of F1 aero.

The Drivers: Ok – most of them are nerds… gone are the days of chig smoking, groupie bangin’ James Hunt, and the almost Godly Ayrton Senna. I mean don’t get me wrong – I love me some Lewis Hamilton (like.. I actually think I love him), but some of these other dudes just seem to be a bit boring. At the end of the day though, I’m cool with that because as soon as they strap into their cars – they officially have the biggest balls in major sport by throwing themselves into a corner, with their right foot buried into the floor, pulling 4+ G’s at around 200 mph. Maybe they’re all quiet from the constant ‘shitting-one-self’ that they endure from the race season? Hmm – I never thought about that.


… aaaand soiled.

Anyways – have a look. It’s something a bit different, generally pretty to look at, and less loud as before incase you’re powerfully hungover. The race is on live at 1am Sunday (Saturday night) so if you’re having a late one, put it on! It’s surely better than those blender infomercials.

Here’s my dude Lewis Hamilton crushing a lap of the Melbourne track during qualifying last year. May your weekend have as much #forza my friends.

“Gas pedal down, middle finger up” – AB

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