What to do with Honest Ed’s?

honest-ed-mirvish

After the unfortunate passing of Ed Mirvish back in 2007, it was only a matter of time before his son Chad Mirvish (ed. note- citation needed), squandered the family fortune through shady land holding deals and securities fraud fines. As is the path of all Chads, everywhere.

When that inevitable occurred, the precious real estate that has housed Honest Ed’s since 19-dickity-2 would soon be sold and re-appropriated by those who don’t see the billion dollar potential of selling Chinese-made BBQ tongs and pajama pants for a Toonie.

Such a dark day occurred over the weekend, as Honest Ed’s was sold to a group from Vancouver, which I am now being told is a city in British Columbia, which I am now being told is a Province in Canada. This group made their fortune, one can only assume, in the lucrative heroin trade that fuels everything west of Manitoba.

While the t’s are now being crossed, there has yet to be any word of what the new space will become. That’s where we step in, heroes.

Two words: Wal. Mart.

11

Allow me to state my case in bullet form:

#1 They have a toy section and a McDonalds, generally located by the blood pressure tester. (HEALTH BENEFITS)

#2 It will act as a much needed hipster repellent. One that is sorely missed from both midtown and everywhere west of Spadina. (EXCLUSION)

#3 LOOK HOW CHEAP THIS AIRBED/OTTOMAN COMBO IS!!!

http://www.walmart.ca/en/ip/intex-ultra-lounge-with-ottoman-cup-holder-air-mattress/6000016936307 (VALUE)

#4 Walmart doesn’t care about their employees so you don’t have to either! You can pretty much just yell at them. (SHOPPING EXPERIENCE)

#5 Torontonians will be unified again. Moments of civic unity are rare in this city, and our collective hate for a centralized Walmart will surely lead to a new dawn in this town. (MAYOR RYAN DALZIEL)

Sign the petition today, unless you hate freedom.

https://www.change.org/en-CA/petitions/the-good-people-of-toronto-turn-honest-ed-s-into-a-walmart

 

{Photo Credit: Honest Ed’s by Stewart C. Russell
CC BY-SA 2.0
http://www.flickr.com/photos/scruss/448528482/

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2 thoughts on “What to do with Honest Ed’s?

  1. Hi, don’t forget the photo credit you have to put in if you use one of my CC BY-SA images:
    Honest Ed’s by Stewart C. Russell
    CC BY-SA 2.0
    Honest Ed's

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